Welcome to the United States of "India"!?

When I was a teenager trying to mug up Indian history in order to progress through the so-called schooling system, I had confided in my dad ( a history buff) that it looks like India will someday become the United States of India and we will need passports to go visit relatives. Of course the comment was a result of frustration borne out of reading a long and tedious history book, but looking at the number of new states and territories in demand today, I feel it may not have been as far fetched as I had thought. 

As if Jharkhand and Uttarakhand were not bad examples to set, now we are heading towards a divided AP. And while not delving into the debate of that particular state, I would like to say that they have no idea what they have stirred up all over the country!

Declaration of statehood over a hunger strike?! It was somewhat like parents giving into a child throwing tantrums. And here we have head militant outfits killing people and blowing up trains for years demanding the same in other states. Of course, one will say its the more Gandhian approach. I shudder to think what the new generation will be learning from this. "Mummy either I get that Nintendo or I am going on hunger strike!!"

And once again it's suspect just how much thought actually went into the separation of these states besides political gain. We seems to be continuing the legacy of our colonizers in dividing what we cannot rule. They split us into India Pakistan and we are splitting the country into even smaller bits.

But then again, except for NRIs, no Indian really ever introduces themselves as Indians. However, they are quick to ravel in all national achievements like in cricket and sports. Ours is becoming a spoiled country, the rich and the political getting spoiled for their choice and spoiling the atmosphere of the country while the rest who continue to struggle to survive are left to bare the burnt of divisions. May be if we stop behaving like children we can get down to ruling the country like adults!

Fly Air India for an unforgettable experience!

This should be the tag line for our dear airline, for every time I have flown it I have come come away with real gems of memories. Take for instance this last trip that I took to England. My experience started with an mix up about immigration even before flying. Despite several calls to make sure, we ended up thinking our immigration will be from Mumbai and not Hyderabad, from where we were starting our journey. But half way through the ticketing process I realized the man in the counter was handing me the immigration forms as well. Inquiries revealed a casually spoken "of course the immigration is here at Hyderabad". I looked at my watch. 8.40. Our flight is leaving at 9.20. OK, don't panic. I looked at the immigration counters. Six counters and not a single passenger. My blood pressure crawled back into control. 

My hubby didn't have the same calming effect as the ticket-man kept asking him monosyllabic questions - "London?" (we interpreted it was an inquiry about our final destination) Mumbai? (umm....yeah i guess) "Aisle?" At this my husband kept repeating "adjoining seats, understand adjoining seats..we want to seat side by side"..blame in on an earlier Air India experience.Not to mention the our flight number showed New York and not Mumbai as destination.

Anyways, we managed to get our tickets, pass through immigration and board the plane, which turned out to a very old Airbus 320. I remember flying those when I was very young. The food trays were aptly scuffed and scarred and hanging loosely in some cases. The exit door had weird stains on it and the interior resembled a luxury bus plying the Hyderabad to Tirupati road.

But, thanks to the aviation god, whoever it is, we reached Mumbai in one piece. After much searching for a parking spot at the international airport (I cannot single out Air India for this though) out tiny craft was disdainfully shoved out of the way of the Lufthansa's and Pacific's and parked into a dark and dingy corner. We piled into a bus and were ferried to the terminal where we finally zigged and zagged our way into the security checking.

We had a long long wait in Mumbai so we hunkered down at gate number 6 with hot chocolates and samosas to spend the time. With about an hour to go, the speakers blared with an innocuous, mildly voiced "all people flying the air India flight AI*** please make way to gate number 3". The result was a not so innocuous stampede. My husband took off like a bat out of hell and when I finally caught up to him I realized the reason for it. He had found us the last two adjoining seats near the new gate. 

Of the rest of the great Indian travelers queued up in front of the gate with more then an hour to go. With no one to clarify, every new comer joined the line. After a long long time, someone half-heartedly tried to explain that boarding would commence at usual time but by then all seats were filled so people continued to stand.

And then finally the boarding began with this announcement, "..ahem...passengers traveling in air india flight AI*** (pause)..we will now board the flight in the following order, seat 52-25 followed by 24-10-followed by......." Now without anyone clarifying how this "followed by" should be managed, everybody cued up and started shoving against each other. We gave the mob ample time to build up the chaos and then slipped through the mil-lee to board much before seat number 52 (if you can't beat them, join them)

On boarding, the first thing I noticed is the plane smelled pleasantly like a public toilet in India. After managing to hold my breath till being seated I ripped open the blanket and stuffed in right up my nose. Thankfully someone sprayed the air freshener and things became more bearable.

I switched on the in-flight entertainment to realize no one has updated it after 2002 and went gave up in favor of a snooze. But the remote, which was placed conveniently at the side of my elbow kept switching on the monitor every time I moved. And we will skip over all the other snippets of experience as that will make this blog too long.

Although I add to this my brother's experience, when he flew AI last week from US. In his own words, the seat moved back enough to cover the width of a slim phone, the pillow was about the size of a spectacle case and everyone elbowed their neighbor each time they took a bit of the food.

And we echo our thoughts "This is the last time I am flying Air India!" I really hate being glared at by matronly air hostesses for no fault of my own!

Respect you elders..in theory at least!

Respect your elders is something Indian children hear all the time. Its an inherent part of our chain of wisdom, passed from generation to generation. But every generation feels that the next adheres to it just a little less. That the new generation leads their life by pushing the slower older generation out of their way, shooing them away when they ramble inarticulately and getting irritated when they cannot get something point. Since there is no indication that children are born with the "mis-treat the elders" gene, one had to consider the monkey see money do effect.

If we expect the next generation to pick up habits like opening doors for elders, giving up seats, helping them in the stairs or show their respect and concern in any other form, we need to show them how its done. But in our rush rush life, I have seen old people getting and shoved out of the way by harried mothers dragging their children to school. Observant kids will obviously notice that mommy doesn't practice what she preaches and consequently learn to ignore these teachings.

But its another story to see how the old are treated in the hallowed halls of the government offices like the municipality, registrars office or pension department. These places have old and retired people thronging them every day, trying to get small things done that end up taking all their life time and sometimes even longer. Try escorting an old person to any of these offices and you might understand how the public servant treats the elders of our country.

Bent with age, tired of struggling against the system, these people come again and again to these offices trying to get through red tapes. What they get is abject reactions, rough denials and sometime even unwarranted insults. I recently had to help one of my parents with pension papers as the other had passed away. Fortunately, we are well off enough to own a small car which makes the one hour travel easier on the body. It took us three trips, hundreds spent on petrol, hours wasted on sitting and being sent back to get something done. And most people who hear that story exclaim, "Three visits only! You guys are so lucky!"

It's very common to see a pensioner being shooed away with the words "Can't you see I am working?" Even if the said pensioner's eye sight is not 20-20, he or she can see that work constitutes of sipping tea discussing the local politics with a few other such "busy" people. Sometimes they will take pity and suggest that the pensioner go outside for a snack and tea and come back after one hour when the clerk will be relatively free.

"Don't you know you have to bring the Identity Card?" one clerk shouts at a demure little old woman who shakes with fatigue for having stood for a long time in the registrars office in Hyderabad. Well, if we did know all the procedures involved, we would be sitting in his chair now wouldn't we!

So by extension it is our government that treats our elders with the dignity reserved for an ant, speak to them as if they are ignorant children, treat them like nuisance and most often show them the door for failing to bring some obscure document. If the root is rotten, no point in blaming the new leafs now is there?

Kaminey: Original but definitely not sublime!

It has to speak for the movie's reputation when people are willing to brave the night show after spending the whole day frolicking on the beach. It is also one of the reason I came out of the hall thinking "ok, this was good but whats the whole hallu ballu about?" I agree it was better then the usual crime movie fare stuffed down our throat by bollywood. It's also somewhat unique in its half-half combo of dirty gritty drama and funny sarcastic wit. But it is not a movie that I would want to watch again and again as most of the movie critics are dictating. Its good, but not thaaaaat great. However, it is worth watching once and I am sure many of the viewers will disagree with me. Its possible that I went with too high an expectation.

Coming to the movie its a new twist on a old theme. Basic premise, two brothers with characters as different as day and night which is funnily signified by their dreams - one wants to be a bookie and other one wants to finish his degree and get a job. And no they weren't separated at birth but rather drifted apart due to circumstances. Here I should give due credit to Shahid, he did well enough as the brother on the dark side. Guddu the good brother is more like the Shahid we see generally, so the contrasting portrayal of Charlie the race fixer was quite good. However, the effect was not as shocking as Saif's Langra Tyagi in Omkara.

The story, as it has been advertised, is of around 24 hours or a little more. Both brothers are drawn into one single incident owing to a complicated and incidental chain of events, which was expected. The movie runs at quite a good pace and doesn't bore you. But it definitely didn't keep me at the edge of my seat with anticipation.

One good thing I really appreciate is that there is no unnecessarily added comics bits. All the laugh is part of the sarcastic dialogue and settings and the basis of the story - life is full of Kaminey.

For me, the movie shines though through the superb acting of the various villains - Bhope who touts the same lines as Raj Thakery, the customary corrupt cop duo, Tashi - the cigar smoking foreign villain and last but not the last the Bengali bookie brothers who sum up the super villain cast. I specially loved the Bong crooks with their bong dialogues and crazy attitude, even though they must have had about 15 minutes of screen time in all. 

Last but not the least, Priyanka is a hoot in her character as a fire brand marathi girl, who knows how to get what she wants and even protect it with equal gusto. Her dialogues are sharp and she did justice to her role, I felt. All in all the movie was going quite well, until the end when it seemed a little more then necessary "formula" was applied. I would have preferred a little more twist and punch at the end. Oh well, watch it once at least.

Summer 2009 UK: Pearls of Wisdom from the seasoned traveller

"Whats the big blob in the sky?" - that was the running joke this summer in UK. A sight so rare to this rain soaked country, that you want to run back to the 45 degree C roasting cauldron you call home. However, owing to global warming, the big blob did give us a unique "summer" this time, which we capitalized by running around this island like headless chicken. At the end of this long journey (we chalked up quite a bit of mileage) I gathered a few pearls of wisdom that I would like to share with my unwilling readers-

1. A "beach" in UK does not necessarily conform to the Indian idea of it. Most often, it lacks sandy shores or warm waters.
2. Like the towels mentioned in the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, here you should never step out of the house without the latest AA Road Atlas. Or you will spend half of your life circling some blasted castle in the heart of the city, rather than getting into it.
3. It doesn't matter how sunny the weather forecast, it never hurts to carry a jacket. Don't bother with an umbrella, its more likely to snap like arthritic bones.
4. There are more sheep in England than people.
5. Safest food to order anywhere is the "English Breakfast". Everything else is at your risk.
6. The tallest peaks in England are tiny hillocks to us. If you expect more, go see the Himalaya's in your backyard!
7. Don't expect a lot when you visit a castle. Its more likely to resemble a "bhoot bangla (haunted mansion)" than anything like the palaces of Rajasthan. Interior or to that matter exterior decoration is not of much importance here. Its all about be-headings!
8. If you have doubts about what clothes to get here, anything in white, black or grey will be fine. You will blend right in.
9. Whether you are going uphill or downhill or getting on a single lane bridge, the sheep have the right of the way 
10. In a place so small, even uneven nooks and cranny's are made out to be major tourist attractions. England's biggest gorge may not look more than that crack you crossed on the way to school (well, that may be a little too cruel!)
11. British people rarely smile, unless they are drunk. Scottish people often smile, even when they are not drunk. Haven't been to Ireland.
12. Round-Abouts is a secret weapon used by MI-6 to keep most citizens and aliens confused while in the country.
13. All houses look the same in any given county. If you are visiting anyone, please carry a Sat Nav and the post code.
14. Don't depend on Sat Nav's. Only time it works well is when you key in "Go Home". Otherwise, its as good as having your spouse (I mean me) do the navigation.
15. Car Rental companies are a necessary evil. We use them often, so we know how evil they are.
16. Wear sneakers. The ground is always muddy. Wonder why!??
17. Last but not the least, never comment on the weather early in the day and jinx yourself. If you went through the day without getting wet, you can worship the weather god at night.

I can go on and on and on. But I will keep that for a future blog. Sleep on this few bits, while I try to dig up the elusive wisdom tooth. 

Vote For Your Tomorrow

Indian Election 2009 seems to have hit a new high as far as the pre-election theatrics and dramatics are considered. It’s has become the mother of all reality shows. And it has done nothing to inspire the voters' confidence or motivation.

As a matter of fact, voters have just continued to get more and more disappointed with our politicians and their empty promises. The rural populace, who generally come out to vote in higher numbers, have suffered year after year as elected leaders never delivered on their promise of education, employment, health and other basic amenities. The urban voters on the other hand have not been active participants till late. But the recent escalation of terrorist activities in the Indian metros have brought the urban populace into the 2009 election.

However, as many of these first-time voters are not aware of the political history of the parties and candidates, they are confused. Even the few veteran voters are also confused, as none of the candidates and parties are inspiring total confidence. And let’s not forget the many alliances either. In reality, these ever changing alliances, with enemies becoming friends and friends becoming enemies overnight just for a chance at the seat of power only goes to show the voters what drives our politicians. Indian Voters have pretty much come to regard our politicians as power hungry, unethical people who abuse their position at every chance. And it will take nothing less then a miracle to sway that view anytime soon.

We voters are also at fault for our current situation. Specially the urban voters who have the education and the means to bring about changes should be definitely more aware of political issues and be more involved. We ELECT our politicians, no one is arm-twisting us into having this or that person as our leader. So we are responsible for our choices and we should demand more accountability and transparency in their dealing. Recently, this has meant that politicians are openly flaunting their crimes and then getting away from punishment, for people in power have been abusing Justice in our country as well. We need more awareness among youth about current issues and requirements, involvement in the process and follow up after voting.

What India needs now is fresh faces, not jaded with five decades of power-abuse, with progressive ideas and ethics. Voters need to see candidates who honestly care about the country and its people, are willing to sacrifice their comfort for delivering on their promise, to instill back the non-existent confidence in politics. Our future politician should go back to the basics and provide us our fundamental rights.

In the meantime, we are still left with the choice between the fire and frying pan in the upcoming election. One must take into consideration the bigger picture while voting because who we elect will now govern our country for the next six years, which is a long long time. A mistake in our part will not be corrected anytime soon. So, read the paper, watch the news, think hard about what our country needs and then vote for your tomorrow.

Lets Talk About The Weather

At one time, discussing the weather meant either you are British or you have absolutely nothing else to talk about. But these days weather is the hottest topic around and the pun is intentional. You don't have to be a watcher of Discovery channel or other science programs to know what is happening to our climate - you can literally feel the oddity of every season shifting from the age old patterns that you were used to. Summer comes early, snows at the oddest times, not snowing when its supposed to, more rains and less rains...all erratic and out if its cycle.

So what is the causing this freaky weather? Its called global warming. In our solar system, Earth is the only planet that is currently livable because it has an atmosphere with enough oxygen, water, heat etc to make the surface suitable for us humans. Now this atmospherere consists of Green House gases, which filter the sun rays to reduce the radiation level that reaches the earth and lets the excess heat out of the atmosphere to keep the temperature stable. Now, due to the use of many new appliances and industries the percentages of green house gases in our atmosphere has increased dramatically, thereby throwing the filter off-course, and trapping more and more high radiation sun beams into our climate, increasing the level of CO2 etc. The result has been a gradual increase in our surface temperature. The effect- gradual meting of ice and increase of sea level, change in precipitation cycle that controls rain, - leading to increase in desert areas and decrease in forest area, extinction of many species in those regions and an allover imbalance in the ecological system - and if you are thinking Ice Age was a funny movie, you might want to read this.

I happen to watch a documentary this weekend -An Inconvenient Truth. Directed by Davis Guggenheim the documentary showcases the Climate change presentation that US Senator Al Gore has been making for quite sometime now. He has been campaigning quite long to get the US congress take initiative to take steps to stop the global warming phenomenon with little effect so far. Whatever be his political motives, the presentation IS quite an effective eye opener.

Except for the data on the actual rate of increase in CO2 emissions in our atmosphere and the resulting hike in temperatures, most of the results mentioned were familiar to me, as I am a rather avid watcher of Discovery and other such scientific programs etc. However, many facts seem to shock my fellow watchers, making me aware of how unaware most people are about the extent of the damage so far.

There was one animated segment in the documentary which shows how we react to situations. A frog is tossed into a beaker of hot water - it jumps right out with alacrity. The same frog is put into a beaker of cold water and heat is turned on. Now as the water gradually turns hot, the frog continues to sit there looking a little perplexed and confused but not reacting with the same alacrity as before because the effect is rather gradual. While the audience laughs, we are also hard pressed to admit how true the depiction is. We are apparently not moved by the melting and vanishing glaciers, the ever increasing storms and heat waves and droughts. After all unless climate change causes to set your seat on fire, its hardly any reason to react.

The sad truth that the program reflects is that we have already messed with the ecological balance quite too far to completely restore it back anytime soon. However, rather than despair, the documentary carries the message that - THIS IS THE LAST CHANCE, ITS NOW OR NEVER!

Now, most often people are asking what can we do about it? Isn't it the duty and responsibility of the Government and big organizations to cope with this? How did we contribute to this ourselves - its the effect of big industries! Here is a gem I picked from the net - Climate change has been happening since time began, we should not have to blame civilization now just because. Denial!

Well there are things you can do personally

1. Start with using less appliances like Refrigerator and Air- conditioning - when not needed switch it off.
   
2. Plant more leafy trees around - they absorb a lot of these gases thus reducing the level in the atmosphere.
   
3. Use energy efficient bulbs to reduce the pressure of the energy resource
4. Use less water, again to conserve the resource.
   
5. Keep your car emission low by taking it for periodic servicing etc
6. Carpool to reduce the overall use of fuel and emission into the system
   
7. If there is a municipal garbage recycle system, take time to throw the garbage in the bin rather in the nearest vacant plot.

On a more large scale, we as voters do have the right to push for laws that make emission check mandatory. We have the right and should take the time out to push against the destruction of forests and natural resources for Malls and Supermarkets - people in Goa stood up for their land, why can't the rest of us do the same. We can and should demand that our elected leaders put a better garbage disposal measure in place, introduce recycling etc. These are better reasons to call for a bandh or dharna anyday than the useless political ones that we come across always. Lets wake up and shake up people, or else will end up floating around in some space ship waiting for WALL-E to clear the mess.

Have you made your bucket list yet?

In case you are wondering, 'what on earth is a bucket list?', let me explain- A Bucket list is a list of things to do before you kick the bucket i.e. say bye bye to your mortal life (extended explanation for the phrase-ologically challenged people!)

What bought about this comment is the weekend movie "Bucket List", with the unbeatable cast of Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson playing two terminally ill patients who find themselves room-mates in the chemo-ward. Diametrically opposite in temperament and lifestyle, the two bond over the mutual sarcasm of the dying and throwing up sessions post chemo.

And from there blossoms the idea of the bucket list. (Dasvidania popped into my mind here automatically since I saw it recently) While the one writing it merely meant it as a solace, the other one pushes it to the next level and we have two persons, supposed to be dying, actually living it out more then most of us. But the movie is not your regular cheesy feel good flick, saved by the witty dialogue and the two actors delivering them.

The movie isn't about death but life, and living. Reminds me of the song "live like you are dying". An engaging, well made movie that is NOT a tear-jerker. So watch it if you can.

Genghis Khan - The Mongol

I was watching The Mongol last night and remembered seeing the interviews about the movie about an year back. The thing that had struck me most is that most people pronounced Genghis Khan as Gang-is-khan whereas I think the name is pronounced more like Chenggis Khan. Well anyways, my enjoyment of the movie was slightly ruined by my memory of a family friend who used to call her reed-thin Nepali chauffeur "Genghis Khan', or rather use to scream the name at the top of her voice from her window. And looking at the meek little guy always use to make us crack up at the absurdity of the name.

Another thing I noticed was the music. It's quite similar to the tribal music of the tribe called Dimasa back in North East India. Their music is totally instrumental, using the drum (Khrum I think) and a wind instrument they call Muri. See a pic here.

The sound can be very monotonous, but I can't find sample for it anywhere. Nearest I can get is this guy playing the wind instrument played by Australian Aborigines called DIDGERIDOO (something new I learned today)..but the these guys more tone variation then the Dimasa's.

There, I started about the movie and totally went side ways. Anyways, the movie was interesting. If it is historically correct then it is a interesting look into the Mongolian tribe and its history. Of course, its not a movie for the feint hearted or for people with less patience. Because the movie is both bloody as well as slow moving sometimes. If you are interested, can watch it. Not bad, not too great. The surprise I guess is the romance...curious now?

You know you are getting old...

when all you can talk about in a get-together is the "good old days". And those little kids that you lorded over and bullied send you their wedding cards! There was a time when people measured the coming of old age by the advent of gray hairs. But not anymore because, well, it's kind of become fashion and who knows if the gray is real or dyed!! Just kidding. Don't think anyone other then actors actually dye their hair gray. After all we all dream of being Dorian Grey and let our portraits grow old instead of us.

But what does it mean for us? Does this mean we should ring the funeral bell, order our caskets or put in the order for scented sandal wood for funeral pyre? One of my friends, who actually brought up this topic, mentioned she finally used a neighbouring kids wedding to try and convince her parents that at 30+ she was old enough to come home after curfew without earth shattering consequences. Her parents simply rolled their eyes and told her to make it home before 11. Can't win with them veterans!

Me, I glibly side step questions about my age and spout lines like "18 till I die" and promptly call up a friend to discuss those golden years of college days- heh heh. The hairs are still black, thank heavens!