"Whats the big blob in the sky?" - that was the running joke this summer in UK. A sight so rare to this rain soaked country, that you want to run back to the 45 degree C roasting cauldron you call home. However, owing to global warming, the big blob did give us a unique "summer" this time, which we capitalized by running around this island like headless chicken. At the end of this long journey (we chalked up quite a bit of mileage) I gathered a few pearls of wisdom that I would like to share with my unwilling readers-
- A "beach" in UK does not necessarily conform to the Indian idea of it. Most often, it lacks sandy shores or warm waters.
- Like the towels mentioned in the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, here you should never step out of the house without the latest AA Road Atlas. Or you will spend half of your life circling some blasted castle in the heart of the city, rather than getting into it.
- It doesn't matter how sunny the weather forecast, it never hurts to carry a jacket. Don't bother with an umbrella, its more likely to snap like arthritic bones.
- There are more sheep in England than people.
- Safest food to order anywhere is the "English Breakfast". Everything else is at your risk.
- The tallest peaks in England are tiny hillocks to us. If you expect more, go see the Himalaya's in your backyard!
- Don't expect a lot when you visit a castle. Its more likely to resemble a "bhoot bangla (haunted mansion)" than anything like the palaces of Rajasthan. Interior or to that matter exterior decoration is not of much importance here. Its all about be-headings!
- If you have doubts about what clothes to get here, anything in white, black or grey will be fine. You will blend right in.
- Whether you are going uphill or downhill or getting on a single lane bridge,
the sheep have the right of the way - In a place so small, even uneven nooks and cranny's are made out to be major tourist attractions. England's biggest gorge may not look more than that crack you crossed on the way to school (well, that may be a little too cruel!)
- British people rarely smile, unless they are drunk. Scottish people often smile, even when they are not drunk. Haven't been to Ireland.
- Round-Abouts is a secret weapon used by MI-6 to keep most citizens and aliens confused while in the country.
- All houses look the same in any given county. If you are visiting anyone, please carry a Sat Nav and the post code.
- Don't depend on Sat Nav's. Only time it works well is when you key in "Go Home". Otherwise, its as good as having your spouse (I mean me) do the navigation.
- Car Rental companies are a necessary evil. We use them often, so we know how evil they are.
- Wear sneakers. The ground is always muddy. Wonder why!??
- Last but not the least, never comment on the weather early in the day and jinx yourself. If you went through the day without getting wet, you can worship the weather god at night.
I can go on and on and on. But I will keep that for a future blog. Sleep on this few bits, while I try to dig up the elusive wisdom tooth.
