Welcome to the United States of "India"!?

When I was a teenager trying to mug up Indian history in order to progress through the so-called schooling system, I had confided in my dad ( a history buff) that it looks like India will someday become the United States of India and we will need passports to go visit relatives. Of course the comment was a result of frustration borne out of reading a long and tedious history book, but looking at the number of new states and territories in demand today, I feel it may not have been as far fetched as I had thought. 

As if Jharkhand and Uttarakhand were not bad examples to set, now we are heading towards a divided AP. And while not delving into the debate of that particular state, I would like to say that they have no idea what they have stirred up all over the country!

Declaration of statehood over a hunger strike?! It was somewhat like parents giving into a child throwing tantrums. And here we have head militant outfits killing people and blowing up trains for years demanding the same in other states. Of course, one will say its the more Gandhian approach. I shudder to think what the new generation will be learning from this. "Mummy either I get that Nintendo or I am going on hunger strike!!"

And once again it's suspect just how much thought actually went into the separation of these states besides political gain. We seems to be continuing the legacy of our colonizers in dividing what we cannot rule. They split us into India Pakistan and we are splitting the country into even smaller bits.

But then again, except for NRIs, no Indian really ever introduces themselves as Indians. However, they are quick to ravel in all national achievements like in cricket and sports. Ours is becoming a spoiled country, the rich and the political getting spoiled for their choice and spoiling the atmosphere of the country while the rest who continue to struggle to survive are left to bare the burnt of divisions. May be if we stop behaving like children we can get down to ruling the country like adults!

Fly Air India for an unforgettable experience!

This should be the tag line for our dear airline, for every time I have flown it I have come come away with real gems of memories. Take for instance this last trip that I took to England. My experience started with an mix up about immigration even before flying. Despite several calls to make sure, we ended up thinking our immigration will be from Mumbai and not Hyderabad, from where we were starting our journey. But half way through the ticketing process I realized the man in the counter was handing me the immigration forms as well. Inquiries revealed a casually spoken "of course the immigration is here at Hyderabad". I looked at my watch. 8.40. Our flight is leaving at 9.20. OK, don't panic. I looked at the immigration counters. Six counters and not a single passenger. My blood pressure crawled back into control. 

My hubby didn't have the same calming effect as the ticket-man kept asking him monosyllabic questions - "London?" (we interpreted it was an inquiry about our final destination) Mumbai? (umm....yeah i guess) "Aisle?" At this my husband kept repeating "adjoining seats, understand adjoining seats..we want to seat side by side"..blame in on an earlier Air India experience.Not to mention the our flight number showed New York and not Mumbai as destination.

Anyways, we managed to get our tickets, pass through immigration and board the plane, which turned out to a very old Airbus 320. I remember flying those when I was very young. The food trays were aptly scuffed and scarred and hanging loosely in some cases. The exit door had weird stains on it and the interior resembled a luxury bus plying the Hyderabad to Tirupati road.

But, thanks to the aviation god, whoever it is, we reached Mumbai in one piece. After much searching for a parking spot at the international airport (I cannot single out Air India for this though) out tiny craft was disdainfully shoved out of the way of the Lufthansa's and Pacific's and parked into a dark and dingy corner. We piled into a bus and were ferried to the terminal where we finally zigged and zagged our way into the security checking.

We had a long long wait in Mumbai so we hunkered down at gate number 6 with hot chocolates and samosas to spend the time. With about an hour to go, the speakers blared with an innocuous, mildly voiced "all people flying the air India flight AI*** please make way to gate number 3". The result was a not so innocuous stampede. My husband took off like a bat out of hell and when I finally caught up to him I realized the reason for it. He had found us the last two adjoining seats near the new gate. 

Of the rest of the great Indian travelers queued up in front of the gate with more then an hour to go. With no one to clarify, every new comer joined the line. After a long long time, someone half-heartedly tried to explain that boarding would commence at usual time but by then all seats were filled so people continued to stand.

And then finally the boarding began with this announcement, "..ahem...passengers traveling in air india flight AI*** (pause)..we will now board the flight in the following order, seat 52-25 followed by 24-10-followed by......." Now without anyone clarifying how this "followed by" should be managed, everybody cued up and started shoving against each other. We gave the mob ample time to build up the chaos and then slipped through the mil-lee to board much before seat number 52 (if you can't beat them, join them)

On boarding, the first thing I noticed is the plane smelled pleasantly like a public toilet in India. After managing to hold my breath till being seated I ripped open the blanket and stuffed in right up my nose. Thankfully someone sprayed the air freshener and things became more bearable.

I switched on the in-flight entertainment to realize no one has updated it after 2002 and went gave up in favor of a snooze. But the remote, which was placed conveniently at the side of my elbow kept switching on the monitor every time I moved. And we will skip over all the other snippets of experience as that will make this blog too long.

Although I add to this my brother's experience, when he flew AI last week from US. In his own words, the seat moved back enough to cover the width of a slim phone, the pillow was about the size of a spectacle case and everyone elbowed their neighbor each time they took a bit of the food.

And we echo our thoughts "This is the last time I am flying Air India!" I really hate being glared at by matronly air hostesses for no fault of my own!