Respect your elders is something Indian children hear all the time. Its an inherent part of our chain of wisdom, passed from generation to generation. But every generation feels that the next adheres to it just a little less. That the new generation leads their life by pushing the slower older generation out of their way, shooing them away when they ramble inarticulately and getting irritated when they cannot get something point. Since there is no indication that children are born with the "mis-treat the elders" gene, one had to consider the monkey see money do effect.
If we expect the next generation to pick up habits like opening doors for elders, giving up seats, helping them in the stairs or show their respect and concern in any other form, we need to show them how its done. But in our rush rush life, I have seen old people getting and shoved out of the way by harried mothers dragging their children to school. Observant kids will obviously notice that mommy doesn't practice what she preaches and consequently learn to ignore these teachings.
But its another story to see how the old are treated in the hallowed halls of the government offices like the municipality, registrars office or pension department. These places have old and retired people thronging them every day, trying to get small things done that end up taking all their life time and sometimes even longer. Try escorting an old person to any of these offices and you might understand how the public servant treats the elders of our country.
Bent with age, tired of struggling against the system, these people come again and again to these offices trying to get through red tapes. What they get is abject reactions, rough denials and sometime even unwarranted insults. I recently had to help one of my parents with pension papers as the other had passed away. Fortunately, we are well off enough to own a small car which makes the one hour travel easier on the body. It took us three trips, hundreds spent on petrol, hours wasted on sitting and being sent back to get something done. And most people who hear that story exclaim, "Three visits only! You guys are so lucky!"
It's very common to see a pensioner being shooed away with the words "Can't you see I am working?" Even if the said pensioner's eye sight is not 20-20, he or she can see that work constitutes of sipping tea discussing the local politics with a few other such "busy" people. Sometimes they will take pity and suggest that the pensioner go outside for a snack and tea and come back after one hour when the clerk will be relatively free.
"Don't you know you have to bring the Identity Card?" one clerk shouts at a demure little old woman who shakes with fatigue for having stood for a long time in the registrars office in Hyderabad. Well, if we did know all the procedures involved, we would be sitting in his chair now wouldn't we!
So by extension it is our government that treats our elders with the dignity reserved for an ant, speak to them as if they are ignorant children, treat them like nuisance and most often show them the door for failing to bring some obscure document. If the root is rotten, no point in blaming the new leafs now is there?
If we expect the next generation to pick up habits like opening doors for elders, giving up seats, helping them in the stairs or show their respect and concern in any other form, we need to show them how its done. But in our rush rush life, I have seen old people getting and shoved out of the way by harried mothers dragging their children to school. Observant kids will obviously notice that mommy doesn't practice what she preaches and consequently learn to ignore these teachings.
But its another story to see how the old are treated in the hallowed halls of the government offices like the municipality, registrars office or pension department. These places have old and retired people thronging them every day, trying to get small things done that end up taking all their life time and sometimes even longer. Try escorting an old person to any of these offices and you might understand how the public servant treats the elders of our country.
Bent with age, tired of struggling against the system, these people come again and again to these offices trying to get through red tapes. What they get is abject reactions, rough denials and sometime even unwarranted insults. I recently had to help one of my parents with pension papers as the other had passed away. Fortunately, we are well off enough to own a small car which makes the one hour travel easier on the body. It took us three trips, hundreds spent on petrol, hours wasted on sitting and being sent back to get something done. And most people who hear that story exclaim, "Three visits only! You guys are so lucky!"
It's very common to see a pensioner being shooed away with the words "Can't you see I am working?" Even if the said pensioner's eye sight is not 20-20, he or she can see that work constitutes of sipping tea discussing the local politics with a few other such "busy" people. Sometimes they will take pity and suggest that the pensioner go outside for a snack and tea and come back after one hour when the clerk will be relatively free.
"Don't you know you have to bring the Identity Card?" one clerk shouts at a demure little old woman who shakes with fatigue for having stood for a long time in the registrars office in Hyderabad. Well, if we did know all the procedures involved, we would be sitting in his chair now wouldn't we!
So by extension it is our government that treats our elders with the dignity reserved for an ant, speak to them as if they are ignorant children, treat them like nuisance and most often show them the door for failing to bring some obscure document. If the root is rotten, no point in blaming the new leafs now is there?
6 comments:
well, I think there is a general lack of respect towards life in India. And Indians are by nature way too rude..
I remember sitting in a park in Delhi with a friend. Two elderly, respectable, retired, white-haired gentlemen sitting on the bench opposite ours. There is a slight altercation between the two - and what happens next - there is a flurry of words like maa, behan and any other women of the family you can think of.
I hope you will find sometime to send it to some daily news paper so that more people will read it and realise the treatment being given our elderly.. maybe one of them might be the clerk who will change his ways after reading this.. Good post Srobona.
It boils your blood, it gets into your nerves, doesnt it? Remember, when I tried to get my ticket cancelled in Kolkata, what I went through. I cursed, I swore, because I was helpless. I just hope and pray that things improve but I sincerely dont know how.
I could so identify with this piece. There are some archaic procedures in our country that results in these behaviours. I had to fight a case for my dad, which was eventually won through RTI, where a government body is allowed to file a case but not withdraw it. You need the Union Cabinet Minister's approval to withdraw a case. How stupid is that. And we say our courts etc are over-burdened. I wish, common sense was a widely publicised virtue in India.
India is getting more and more intolerant and respectful with every passing day. The disrespect meted out to the senior citizens in one such affair. It is shameful how we allow this erosion happen to us at official and personal levels.
Four five days back there was an article how an elderly couple had sought the court's help in seeking maintenance from their only son, who had not only grabbed the parents only shelter and reduced his own parents to a state of destitution. I am sure he must also must be the clerk at the Govt. office whom we have the misfortune to encounter every now and then!
As a cynic I just have to say things will not get any better ever. Have seen this behavior since the last 20 years and no matter what is bound to continue in the future. Sad, very sad but that is the truth.
Unfortunately true!! every word of it. This is when we belong to a GREAT civilisation and do not tire from singing praises of it. I hope civic manners or atleast a basic concern for humanity are counted as part of a developing civilisation.
Very well written.
Post a Comment