Ever heard anyone say that? I have, including myself. I think most of the time I am very disappointed when I say that because I was trying so hard not to lose my temper. And I have heard my husband once say that in surprise. He later explained that he never realized when he lost his cool.
We all have our boiling point. And I do not think its possible for us to be calm always. And prevention is better then cure does not work always. As Kenny Rogers sang “Sometimes you have to fight to be a man”. But that doesn’t mean I condone jumping at each others throat!
The fact is most often, right after we lose our temper, we realize what a mistake we made, that the situation was not that bad to start with and we have probably made it worse with the words spoken in anger. Because anger is rarely rational and an irrational mind cannot diffuse an argument.
I guess that best way to deal with it, as I have found is to first consciously breathe and chant “calm down calm down” in your mind. And next, either try to reason it out or flee! You may not agree to these solutions but in many situations they have saved my neck and sometimes the other jackasses neck too!
Oh, and just like alchoholism, denial is the worst enemy of anger too. “I don’t lose temper” only means you do not consider your outbursts a problem. Au contraire sir, the others might not agree. Sometimes, it pays to listen to your colleagues and friends; if they say you have a short temper- you probably do.
One thing, though, I am not very sure about. Does suppressing your temper actually solve the problem? Many times I have been left with this simmering anger for hours because I did not vent it on something. And I hear they can give you ulcer for heavens sake! My mom has this unique solution –she vents it on a piece of paper and then shreds it. Me I talk. I howl, I yowl and screech…..to someone who has the patience. And when I have calm down, I thank them for their patience and let them get ready for my next rant.
So my advice to all of you who keep loosing your temper here and there, “Do Pranayam and watch the movie Anger Management”. If the problem persists consult a professional (refer to the movie for clues).
2 comments:
I know exactly what you mean. Pranayam should do the trick as it is being recommended from all quarters.Shall try.
Hey slacker, what happened to the Halong Days series??? As far as losing one's temper, usually it helps to growl a little as the aggravation increases. Sometimes it takes the cause away, and prevents a full blown hissy fit. The ploy generally does not work if you are considered a "kid" (irrespective of your age), and all you get is more patronizing aggravation from the "adult". I try to switch the conversation to weather at such times. Sometimes it it so much more fun to chew someone's head off. I'd rather and leave them fuming than carry the bad taste in my mouth over the next couple of hours.
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